Piercing Through Your Lies©

MKA45 Groupmates Announcement

**PR Ultra Case Analysis**

Guys, I put some additional analysis and info on what Macky made.
I emailed it to Macky, Fe, Jen and Lou. Please recheck my additions.

**PR Microsoft Case**

I haven't started this because I started off with those that will be submitted first.

Please send all your contributions WEDNESDAY evening.

Contribute on:

II. Current Market Situation (focus on Microsoft and not the Anti trust case)
III. Competitive Situation
and
VII. PR Strategies
  a. Key Publics
  b. Organizational Positioning
  c. PR Tools
  d. Budget

Guys, as usual, I need extra help on Budget. Mac at Fe, kau na yan ha!! 0_o la ku magagawa jan. hehe.

**Strategic Marketing**

I sent emails of the unfinished paper to all group members. Please send all your contributions (kahit anong pwede nio idagdag) before 8pm tomorrow. I will not include those sent later that time cuz I'll finish them at once.

**Techniques**

tuesday - comprehensive story board (ako na poh bahala)

thursday - final story board on 1/2 illustration board.
Guys please provide the illustration board and do the layouting. I'll do two copies of those that will be submitted on tuesday so it's your turn to finish the final story board

actual commercial - submission is on October 12
let's talk about the shooting date pag dating ko.

**Research**

After Research class - pay reservation for SPSS

After PR Class - do the SPSS

you can just send a copy to me so I can add my analysis to the case. That's all I can do sa part na yan. (sensya na pe at jenie).

so yun lan.

text me for other info!

whew, napagod ako mag announce hehe!!

† 0_o †

Wow, only now have I noticed that I haven't posted much here. Well, I've posted much in my Official blog [click here].

Last time I posted, it was all about reminiscing my memories and that makes me feel much older every now and then. I'm still here at home right now, thinking, relaxing and talking to myself.

Anyway... some bitches just won't go away, won't they? Hah! Oh well, that makes them happy. I couldn't care less but I think we should burn them.

Tomorrow = back to school. Busy as hell.

I want more photos!

Graduation Photoshoot to come!! That's on Wednesday.

Ugh...

† Frogs Forever †

Girls play with dolls and boys play with frogs.

Is that a must? Is it some sort of norm? What if it goes the other way around?

Girls hate frogs. Girls hate bugs. Well probably not all. And for the fact, not me.

In my college life that will soon end T_T, there are many childish memories that I love to treasure. It makes me feel like I will never grow up and I can be whatever I want to be and act like how I want to act no matter how old I am. I've been thinking about this for quite a while now.

I was talking to Fe and Jen about this. I thought of some people that seems mature, independent, and somewhat "adult" whenever I see them. Turns out they're just my age. The thing is, I'm not a child anymore so I know I should probably act like them as well. They happen to be poised, serious with life, and all. I (we) happen to be not. And I don't have to act like that just because my age tells me so.

In November, I'm turning 20. No longer a teenager and a legal adult. Crap, I've been deemed a legal adult since I was 18 but trust me, I couldn't care less. And crap, I can get sued anytime for real. Hahaha... another problem. I am independent and I can live on my own when in fact, I have lived on my own for the past almost-four-years of my life. But then, some parts of me just don't want to grow up and a child in me will always live. It's that rebel child who would still lie down on the floor of the lobby when she gets tired (like I did yesterday).

About the girly-girl issue.

I was the girl who loved frogs and bugs (except ants), the one who dug worms from the backyard and toasted them under a candle. I was the girl who picked her nose and ran after some boys in nursery. And I'm still that girl (only that the only boy that I chase with a booger is my Jess Dearie. Two days ago, I brought home a grasshopper and now she's called "Mimi" and my brother takes care of it when I'm not around. Oh yeah, she lives in a big bottle full of soil, rocks, and grass.

You probably think that it's disgusting. Just for the record (again), I don't need to act all poised up and dignified when I express myself. I'm having fun and I'm not doing anything wrong.

My mom always tells me that I should think of how other people would perceive me. I always tell her that it's not my problem. I'm not looking for friends because I have a lot who likes me for what I am. I'm ready for changes, I accept advise when I know it's for the better meaning I'll change something if I know I hurt other people with what I do. I know I've hurt a lot and still I didn't change how I speak or what. Thing is - I can justify why. And if I can't then forgive me please.

So there...

College life nearing the end. Corporate life soon to come. I'm sure going to miss chasing Jen with a frog or telling Mae about my big frog at home (she's freaking disgusted by it especially when I tell her how huge it was and how my dogs are scared by it). I'm going to miss it a lot, lying in front of the CBA Lobby, drinking sessions and smoking in vacant rooms. Hahaha...

I'm sure going to miss everyone...

† Scanner Got Me Depressed †

stupid scanner...

I haven't scanned anything for quite a while, maybe six months or so.
Then now, I'm about to scan something, the scanner just wouldn't work! T_T All I want is to scan my drawings to my PC! HUHUHU!!

It's not working well and I have no idea why! Oh man, this is so depressing. Yeah it's a small thing but to scan my work and do my work on my pc is a big thing for me... especially when I'm just so excited then *poof* - to do it is impossible!

Ugh...

† Who Are They? Really? †

Browsing... nothing in particular and noticed something.

Friendster... like every other networking site. Here, we find old friends and connect; make new friends and extend. Here, I saw different kinds of people and I couldn't tell if they are every kind at least. There are fakers, freaks, real, psycho, and everything else.

Then... there are these kids...

I just noticed them somehow. There are quite many of them and I can't help but read their profiles or posts or whatever since they are indeed scene catching like their clothes. Oh, I have nothing against scene kids cuz people also categorize or label me as one sometimes. So now, let me narrow down to those kids that I will talk about later so this is definitely not a generalization.

Kids making a statement over the internet. True, the web is a very powerful tool. Some people say that it's just cyber space but like every other form of communication, it can create people as much as destroy people. Then here came these kids. They just made me think, are they for real or what? Nope, I'm not referring to the kids with thousands of friends and profiles and pictures flooded with comments because that had been long since an issue.

What caught my attention are those who talk like they're really something. They actually amaze me. They act like they're so pretty or hot and talk like they can make the world turn around in one roar. The pictures, really, aren't enough justifications. I mean, they can be editted and stuff like what I do 0__o. They say that they can ruin you if you fuck them off or whatever.

I don't know if they annoy me or they just really, well, astonish me. The fact is that here in the internet, they have made a "name" and they're actually "someone". There are those that I know that everyone seems to know. Some are actually my friends and turns out to be really good. But most of them, I have no idea what they really are. They're like so fake and I can't tell if they built their dreamworld over the internet (here, in myspace or in VF or somewhere else). It makes me think what they are in real life or let me say, what they are in person and not in cyberspace.

The reason why this is stuck in my head is because I've seen and known other people who are like the "thing" over the internet but turns out to be no one in life in person.

Can they also do and say what they claim to over the internet?

Are they really that pretty/handsome as they say they are?

Do heads turn cuz they look vainy hot and elegant or simply because they wear clothes different from the norms?

Do they even listen to the music associated with their style?

Simple questions. No answers to be exact.

Anyway, if it offended some or if it hit you, whatever, it's not a big deal cuz I just really tend to complicate things.

So here I go again, maybe I need to conduct a social experiment on this one. My own personal psychology. Ugh.

**critiques are welcome**
if you do have answers or ideas, feel free to comment. I just want to find out. It's not really significant though. I don't have a very important reason except for that it interests me.

† Your Defect Won't Save You - A simple philosophy †

So many people, so many defects.

Everyone has their own weakness and it can be either physical or mental, even emotional, or perhaps all. Everyone has a defect in some way, somehow we justify that no one is perfect.

Pity. Sometimes, these people use their defects to get what they want or what they think they must achieve. I hate it completely. We deal with things in different ways but some people are just too selfish that they tend to think only of themselves and their "wrongside" and believe that the world is against them. They tend to have a strong sense of self pity and it's not such a great thing. They think that the world must agree with them because disagreeing would be a form of discrimination and then, they would feel all bad. Many are like that. So, some people show their weakness so other people would do the rest for them because their self pity is contagious.

I'd rather appreciate a person who can stand up for himself rather than a person who falls apart every now and then because they know something is wrong with them. Strong does not refer to being rude, or very forward. What I meant by strong is the strength of acting normal as is nothing was wrong. In fact, it is only the society that made us feel like a defect is something negative and I'm proud of those people who act like they are just like everyone else... because they really are.

Self Pity.

There are two kinds based on my observation. I'm not a philosophy or a psychology student so I'm not sure of the classifications and stuff but I'm sure there are. But here, for a more simple discussion are two kinds (I have no labels for them so here are just examples):

• "I'm not perfect so I'm worthless" - some people are too shy and too sad about their existence that unknowingly they pity themselves too much. They tend to be too quiet or unparticipative in activities that people around them must still persuade and approach them. They act like it's just their nature but they're actually waiting to be approached to feel better about themselves. Of course, it is human to feel sorry for a sad little kid and sometimes, this sad little kid abuses that pity from others and just wait for everything to be done for them.
• "I'm not perfect but I can kill you" - then there are these people who use their defects as an excuse for their rude self defense. They

These people want the focus of others revolving around them. It's usually a subconscious intention and of course, if you know someone like that and ask them, they will not admit that because they think it's not the reason.

To end this all, I will research more on this.
Why did I write this?

• A defective friend.
• Her unreasonable thoughts.
• Sick of trying to understand her because the story just repeats itself.
• She never learned. Ever.
• She always think she's right.
• She's so mean to others when she's mad that she makes them feel as if the whole world treated her like dirt.

PS
I didn't base my writings on just this "friend" but in many people that I have met throughout my life. It just so happens this "friend" inspired me to write this at last. I will update this and hopefully release an essay published in Fictionpress.

† I'm Killing Me †

I never blog on a weekday over an internet cafe... but now I will.

I made a mistake. I hurt people like I always do and I never get enough of it. I said I was sorry. Really, I am... but the inner remorse and that guilt - they're not enough.

I'm nothing but rotten to the core. Find me now, bring my sanity back! I don't think I have it in me. It's freaky how I think - I've been like this all my life so don't tell me it's the f*cking emo fad that turned me this way. Beat it.

Anyway...

here, here I am thinking right now of what is wrong and right, what I should really feel and what I must do next. The right thing is always supposed to be done but the feeling is empty.

I love Jess more now that I have realized how stupid I am for doing such bullshitt over something. But then, the feeling... my feeling for myself is never right. I don't know how confused I can get but I can tell, right now I'm so sick. But this time around, you won't find me drowning.

xxKIMI

† Is there A Standard? †

Around 9pm at Baclaran. Five kids walking towards the waiting area to get a ride to Dasma.

Llany: Ay, sinarhan pa nila... (Oh no, they closed the sidewalk!)

*five kids turn around and follows the line of people through the vacant lot and walks through the uncemented ground and three planks of wood that bridges the higher ground back to the sidewalk*

Macky: Tatawirin natin yan! (We have to cross that!)

Kimi: Naku! Ayoko dumaan jan! (I don't want to go through that!) *points at wooden planks*

Bryan: Ano ka ba, rakista ka tapos takot ka dumaan jan? Iyakin pa... Hehe (Come on, you're a rocker then you're scared to cross that? You're also a crybaby...)

---

If Bryan wasn't my friend, I already killed him.

It made me think though, I never labeled myself. But they call me that annoying name. And because people do call me that, am I supposed to follow standards?

I listen to rock, so don't I have the right to cry? Or be afraid?

Fcuk that.

Liking something or being something doesn't mean there are standards to actually follow. It's what the society implies that's why there are standards. I hate it.

I can cry.

I'm afraid of freakin aliens and ants.

I'm afraid to cross planks of wood and big high ways.

End of story.

Should I justify more?

† Fully Alive? †

Alive?

Really?

Yesterday I fixed some misunderstandings. I don't ought for more. I'm sick of the same story happening again and again. You might not know... but they are the same old shitt. As far as I'm concerned, I'm happy now. At least. But still I'm afraid.

Of what?

Of everything!

I'm afraid of the people around me. Suddenly I feel like I am part of so many people that what I do affects them too much. Or should I say him? It's scary. Maybe he would read this... I think he should. This time around, I'm speaking the way unlike yesterday... I should say more.

It's not that I want to be invisible. I don't want that, neither do I want to be rejected. I'm just... not the kind of person that you can keep from going around and fooling around. I'm not that girl that your mom dreamt of having or the girl that she ought her son to marry. I'm definitely not the friend that people had first thought of going with nor am I the student that professors thought of picking.

Unfortunately...

Sometimes, things don't go that way. Sometimes it just so happens I'm that girl that her son had loved, the girl that met these friends so different from her but couldn't stay away, and the student that they love to give headaches by piling her with work. Still, I'm not your typical.

I'm sorry for being me. But that's all I can be, I can't change. OMg  0__o I  tried to change who I am. I tried to change the way I dress, the music I listen to, the way I speak... just for the sake of being accepted. But fuckk that! It didn't work. None of it worked!!

Well, I did change of course. I changed into the person that I really am. Not fake. This is what or who I want to be. I didn't choose it, I felt it. I didn't force myself to be this girl that you all know and I have no regrets at all. This is the real me... like I've said before, I've grown into the skin that I really have... yeah bebe like a butterfly.

One thing... I'm afraid.

Still afraid.

I'm afraid of the usual thing - expectations!

I hate it when people expect something from me. I hate it when they ought to see something that pressures me.

I am expected to love back. I am expected to be good, to be smart, to be clean, to be pretty, to be perfect! Well, I can't be all those things. I am perfect for myself and it is definitely not the same with your bullshitt standards. I am sorry.

Oh crap, I don't really know how to say these things in my head. They're so much that I can't even write a continuous blog. This is so out of order.

Anyway...

Then there... I can't do the things people expect from and I'm afraid of failing them. No, it's not because I care or I love them. I came to think, I don't really know how to love maybe. I'm never sure of myself.

Then maybe you ask why I'm afraid...?

Cuz I FEEL LIKE MY WORLD RELIES ON ME IN A WAY... AND I CAN'T FAIL THEM. i DONT REALLY KNOW WHY, BUT I JUST CAN'T.
...this is the part of me that makes me break down.

† Confused | Bitter | Dying †

8:16am
I'm still here in Cavite City
My exam is at 12nn
And I haven't done anything.

I haven't read a page
Nor opened a book or any notes that I have
I'm here blogging.

Last night was bullshit
Disturbed
And he did get me messed up
My head, it hurts
He made it hurt
He...

I need a girl
Now, I need a girl that can tell me the difference
That can make me realize my mistake.
I know my mistake
The problem is,
I still defend that I'm right,
B!tch I am.

I'm annoyed.
Really fcuked up.
Need I say more?
Everyone knows how I am.
Shiitt.

This is the last of this rant.
Need I say more shiit?
Because after this,
I won't think of it anymore.